Thursday, 29 July 2010

Titanic 2!

The Asylum are back!

If you thought that Mega Piranha was the pinnacle of this straight to DVD production house's achievements then you were mistaken.  

I've only recently become aware of this kind of film and I can't help but think they're great.  Yes, they are ripping off other stories but, as discussed in the last post, that's just what happens.  They're silly and nonsensical.  They have hammy acting and crappy special effects.  They are oddly endearing though.

The Asylum also made Paranormal Entity, Snakes on a Train and, who could forget, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. 

Behold!  Titanic 2 in all its trailery glory.


“I'd like to thank all of you for joining me on this day that'll go down in this nation's history.  A day where the lives lost on board this ship's predecessor were remembered with the creation of the greatest, fastest, most sophisticated ship ever created. The Titanic 2!”  Is it just me or is there an issue with tenses in this opening?

“Let’s make history.”  What?  By not sinking this time around? 

Bruce Davison has a “bad feeling”.  I’d have one too if I was on a boat called the TITANIC 2!

“It looks like history’s repeating itself.”  Maybe that’s because you’re on the TITANIC 2! On the same course as the first one?  I don’t know much about icebergs, and maybe the killer one from the first movie (or, you know, real life!) has moved or something, but surely this new ship has got like, radar… and navigation equipment?  No? Ok.

Maybe there’s no iceberg this time.  It could all be to do with the wave that’s mentioned at the end of the trailer.  Maybe it’s a political commentary on global warming.

It looks like good, crappy fun to me.  But if this isn’t your thing, and you prefer the creature features, never fear! Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus is coming soon!


The Kid In The Front Row said...

Absolutely hilarious. It even sinks in the same way.

"Looks like history’s repeating itself," greatest line ever.

Joel H said...

Haha, nice.
Good ol' Asylum.

Michael Ewins said...

If you haven't already seen it The Asylum's version of 'Sherlock Holmes' is a pretty solid caper, in a rubbish kinda way. It actually has decent production values and entertains in the way it should. 'Mega Piranha' hits DVD on 9th August also. They're a terrible studio, they waste money on rip-offs when they could at least make original crap. And their really bad stuff is unwatchable ('Alien vs Hunter' anyone?) but I can enjoy them for what they are. 'Transmorphers' and '100 Million Years B.C.' are risible trash best watched with friends. 'Titanic 2' seems suitably laughable - why travel the same course?!!?

Ricky said...

I've GOT to see this !!

Anonymous said...

Sicks fucking shit.
don't you dare try blogging again, you little fuck.

Jess said...

wow, have I upset you anonymous?? Nice way to talk to a lady...

The Retro Brothers said...

Hilarious look at a hilarious film.
Caught it on Sci-Fi the other night - what a f*cking laugh!

So bad it's good.
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Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

oh man, i thought this was a joke! I thought it would be leo and kate again but this time leo would be all zombie like and instead of painting her he would just eat her heart out ...the heart of the ocean see? lol that's a stupid movie but not as stupid as a titanic 2 that doesn't have zombies and graphic brain spillage! sounds like the only brainspillage will be from those who actually watch this POS why don't they do something original like tell the tale of the titanic from the point of view of a smurf or a vampire, they seem to be doing well at the box office these days...umm did i just turn this comment into a blog post? oh well, what can I say? i feel lonely tonight and typing to you is my only friend :o(
looking forward to more lonely nights with you xo

Canadian Drugs Online said...

This movie is simply terrible. After years of watching movies, appearing in movies and view is terribly directed films and movies that are horrible, I am speechless in this movie.

Okie said...

wow...hilarious. might be worth vegging out to. :)


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